LOVE WILL MAKE YOU DO CRAZY THINGS

I see mothers hustling and bustling around New York City. They carry heavy strollers down subway steps, run after an energetic two year old on a crowded street, and play in concrete playgrounds with barbed wire fencing around them.

 

And after all this I have to wonder...will I ever be able to raise a family here?
Other then the fact it seems like a total nightmare, it can't be cheap raising a little one in the big apple. 

Thousands of young girls right out of college move to New York to follow their dreams, have the time of their lives and to hopefully fall in love. But how dangerous can falling in love be for a girl new to a big ol city, with the potential of finding "the one" and ultimately raising a family? I see it constantly -- young mothers schlepping their kids around, the chaotic stress they exuberate and the look in their eyes, pleading to anyone they lock gazes with, screaming "help me", is like seeing into a looking glass of the future.

I fell in love with a born and raised manhattan boy. Whose parents were both born and raised, and both sets of their parents were born and raised. So, guess where my man wants to have his kids ? That's right, in Manhattan so they can be born and raised.

Although marriage and a family might be a few years away for me, after over two years in a happy relationship, a girl can't help but have thoughts. And as a girl who grew up living ten minutes from the beach, with a jungle in her backyard, I can't help but hope for something similar for my kids one day or at least a backyard and a white picket fence!

Alas, as I fall more in love with Mr. Manhattan, I can't help but bring up sweetly "You know, there are lovely places outside the city with only a 20 minute commute!"

But today, when I witnessed a man hurry past a woman with her two little kids, pushing all three of them into the street where a speeding taxi nearly just missed them, I thought, can I really do this? 

As a frantically pulled out my cell phone and started typing to my boyfriend "I'll take Brooklyn, Queens, hell even the Bronx!" I hit the backspace button, took a deep breath and kept walking.
They always say love will make you do crazy things you never deemed possible -- whoever "they" are.

WARNING! YOU MIGHT GET SICK...

We've all had those nights when we got too drunk and threw up in the bars bathroom
... it happens! But, what should we do when adding a sexy guy to the equation? Do we go through with hooking up with him or does are conscience stop us?

A girl in my office told me she had this dilemma a few nights ago. Her in the guy went back to his place and she wasn't sure if she should go through with staying over knowing she had gotten sick.
After a few laughs and shared stories about how many times a similar thing had happened to me or someone I had known, I got to thinking -- how many other girls have struggled with a similar scenario?  

And here's what I decided is the safe answer. It all depends on the location that the dirty deed is done.  

@ the bar : Go for it!

@ home : No way. 

My reasoning? Bars are loud, crazy and filled with commotion. If you puke in a bar its easier to hide the evidence. Chances are if you are able to order another drink, socialize, dance and pretend like nothing happened ... you'll probably be fine for the time being. Pop a mint and don't let your little uh oh ruin your fun night. Hey -- you didn't wear those cute CFM pumps for nothing!

But, if you spill the beans once back at you apartment (or worse his) its better to call it quits for the night. With the dark lights, loud music and people gone, the mood at home is totally awkward if you get sick. And in the case that your in a white bathroom with bright lights, feeling the pressure to get back to the bedroom where a guy awaits you (who probably just heard you yak your brains out), the situation becomes all too real and even more nauseating.
Plus, your bad breath is definitely not sexy. 

Verdict says: call a cab!

CELEBRITY BREAK-UPS WE AREN'T QUITE OVER YET

Spring time -- when the trees bloom with fresh colorful buds, the air smells of flowery cleanliness, and you can see brightly colored tops strolling down the streets with ease, emerging from blackness. Life is reborn from the cold dead of winter and all is content and happy, as friends sip Rose outside in cafes and enjoy picnics in Central Park... or so we'd like to think.

But spring lacks one thing in it's tender breeze, and that is love. That's right ladies and gents: it's break-up season. 

So, for all those broken heated friends who are anxious to feel the heat of summer lovin', let's remember some of our favorite celebrity couples whose relationships ended way too soon. 

I mean, shouldn't we look back on our past experiences with fondness? Right... RIGHT? 

Britney Spears & Justin Timberlake 

Once the prince and princess of pop, this couple melted our hearts when they ended. Don't worry JT -- if Britney didn't cry you a river your fans sure did!

Nick Lachey & Jessica Simpson

Nick and Jessica's relationship was a little too perfect and adorable. Their reality TV show, "Newlyweds", stole the hearts of audiences everywhere. Chicken of the Sea, anyone?!

Johnny Depp & Winona Ryder

Depp tattooed Ryder's name on his arm -- now if that's not commitment I don't know what is?

Brad Pitt & Jennifer Aniston

As one of the biggest celebrity break-ups ever -- who isn't over this relationship? 

Jennifer Lopez & Ben Affleck

Although this couple dated very briefly, they made their relationship so public it was hard not to notice their love. They starred in the failed movie "Gigli" together and Affleck even made a cameo in Lopez's music video "Jenny from the Block." There is no question they had intense chemistry… they couldn't keep their hands off each other ! 

Mila Kunis & Macauley Culkin 

Many people never realized the two dated, but the
"That 70s Show" and "Home Alone" star had a steady relationship for 8 years. So sweet !

Seal & Heidi Klum

This beautiful couple seemed so happy and in love -- we never thought it would end.

Ashton Kutcher & Demi Moore

These two were proof that age ain't nothing but a number! Even though their relationship took a lot of hits from the media, I was cheering them on!

Selena Gomez & Justin Bieber

Young love is always intense. Watching Selena and Justin made us remember our first loves. They were bound to end, but a part of me wished they could have lasted a little longer -- they were so cute!

Taylor Swift & Joe Jonas 

Taylor Swift & Taylor Lautner 

Taylor Swift & John Mayer 

Taylor Swift & Harry Styles 

Taylor Swift & Jake Gyllenhaal 

Taylor Swift & Connor Kennedy 

....just kidding!
How many relationships can this girl have until we take one of heart breaks seriously? 

WHY ARE MEN ON THE SUBWAY SO SLEAZY?

I thought it was just luck or some weird grace from God. 

In the 4 years I had lived in NYC I had never had a weird/ uncomfortable situation happen to me on the subway. As friends told me stories about being splashed in the face with fruit punch by a homeless man and being followed home by a creepy fellow passenger, I felt fortunate that the strange man I have seen riding the 6 train (who I have eyed suspiciously) never choose to spit on me like he has on other young female riders. Of course, I have been inspected at by an unwanted gaze or two, and have had my fair share of cat calls, but nothing that up front effected me. 

Alas, it is NYC, and how long could I truly expect for my luck to run? 

Last Wednesday morning, I woke up to preform my daily routine march to the subway. I was wearing a blue classy cheetah business dress, with heel boots, and no tights -- since the weather was especially nice that day after the long dreadful winter. 

The trains are always crowded in the morning, with people bustling in a hurry to work, and I was crammed in between two men who were pressed up against me. Believe it or not, this is normal behavior, so it was nothing out of the ordinary, and I clutched my purse trying to be aware of any pickpocketers. 

In a tired daze, and in much need of coffee, I found myself zoning out on a subway map, until I felt something against my backside. This wasn't the normal body or bag pressed up against me on my morning subway rides, and it felt almost intentional. I took a deep breath and moved in closer to the seat in front of me, hoping the pressure against my bottom would disappear  For a second it seemed to hover, and then firmly it pressed against me again. To my horror, someone was cupping my ass cheek ! I contemplated turning around to witness the perverted perpetrator, but the train suddenly came to a screeching stop as it approached 42nd street. Too scared to face the truth and create a scene at 9 am, I hoped off and waited for the next train. 

I know, such a chicken move of me! I should have spun around slapped that guy in the face and been on my way, but instead I let him win and walked away ashamed and humiliated. 

What I want to know is: WHAT ON EARTH IS WRONG WITH MEN TODAY? What made that man think he could grab my ass just because I was wearing a tight dress? Guys, regardless if they are ugly, rich, poor, white, black, short or fat  slobber over woman, catcalling at us and making us feel uncomfortable like they have a right to. And we as woman have been letting them get away with it.

These guys who have let all chivalry fly out the door have not only stopped being gentlemen, but have taken two steps back. I can not tell you how many times I have rode the train where all the men were seated and all the woman were standing holding on to rails. 

And I get it, we are in a new day in age where things like giving up a seat to a lady on the subway is silly for men, but is it possible that by abandoning these classic gender gestures it has only heightened the distasteful ones commonly used today? 

Just something to think about, ladies. 

And in the odd chance that you've managed to come across a respectable young man -- hold on to him tight!  

POISONOUS CANDY

This is a poem I wrote last summer.

It's a very personal one, so I am a little nervous, especially since I have never shared my poetry with my readers.

Hope it can help you escape from the rainy weather east coasters

_______________________________________________________________

You say I’m your drug
Breathless beauty, ready at the close.
Remember how the snow formed perfect lines on my dashboard?

My drug
Magnets; two polar opposites electrified when close enough.
For we are once in a blue moon
and I’m your blue moon girl.

Was it because?
Because Nancy was dirty for Billy in the dressing room?

You are my drug
Hands groping
Reaching
Until rivers flow in ecstasy.
Words endlessly flow in musicality and rhythm.
Peering into my soul
It sparks out you

You
My drug
My never ending pleasure through deaths, drugs, discomforted delusions.
Cushions of comfort
Stretch marks and pudge
Tiny as a tea cup
I sing ‘Happy Birthday’ in your ear.
I let the smoke consume me and I feel

Free
Safe
In the fantasy that the ayo colors
And I laugh
Because in that moment the lights ignite.

You plead for me
And it will not last
Can not last
I’m letting go, watching truth extinguish the fire.
I wear the scarlet letter now
Ashamed and Exhilarated.

Drugs
Stop tormenting me
HP screeching
Digging our initials until they are bold
Bold.
Blunt.
Screaming from your infested pigsty,
Wisp of my hair reek where your lips parted.
I let you trample all over me, my darling.
One kiss is worth a thousand cuts.

Heart twitching
Eyes dazed
Pulse thumping
Veins Red
We lie inside each other,
Unable to escape the dark beauty we have created.



WHEN DID ONLINE DATING BECOME FUN?

“It’s called Tinder,” my friend gushed to me over dinner last Tuesday evening. “It’s this new dating game.” 

 I was curious why my girlfriend would be on a dating site since she was currently in a 2 year relationship, but she claimed it was more of something she did for entertainment when bored. “You have to try it out! I’m addicted,” she giggled.

Tinder puts a whole new spin on the dating game. It eliminates the nuisance of having to browse through peoples lengthy bios, and saves you from being bombarded with unwanted email or messages. So, what’s the catch? It’s based solely off of looks! And conveniently it’s an application you can access only on your phone.

Have you ever seen the movie, The Social Network? 

Do you remember how Mark Zuckerberg’s character came up with the idea of Facemash, by comparing two girls side by side and clicking hot or not? 

Well this is basically the concept of Tinder -- minus comparing two different people! Users pick a sexual preference, create a profile, and start playing!

Tinder works strictly through Facebook:

When making your profile it automatically pulls your four most recent profile pictures (you can switch around what profile pictures you want to use if you like), how old you are, and what it says in your about me.

To play it locates local male or females in near distance to you,

and flashes their picture across the screen, where you can pick if you like what you see by clicking on a green heart or if you don’t by clicking on a red x. Then it moves on to the next picture. 

 If you are on the fence on whether someone is cute or not, click on that persons picture to view their 3 other pics, and if you have any mutual Facebook friends and shared interest. 

The nice part? The guy will never find out if you gave him the boot and visa versa. 

The only way he'll know if you said yes is if he said yes to you!

 (Don’t forget -- your face is popping up on guys screens too!) 

And if you did both say yes -- it’s a match! The screen will notify you and ask you if you would like to send a message to that person or keep playing. 

I (of course) immediately downloaded the app to see what all the fuss was about and instantly was just as obsessed as my friend. Aside from the fact that it's just plain fun to look at pics of local guys in the area, it was fun to see who thought I was "hot" as well. 

Being in a relationship myself, I didn't message any of the guys, but the messages I received were hilarious! My favorites include: 

"What's your favorite muppet?" 

"Do you love bacon, because if you don't, don't bother replying." 

And my favorite ... 

"Are you really on tinder at 8pm on a Friday. Wow... Your life must suck!" 

And when I didn't respond the next day he sent : 

"So, how about drinks tonight in the village cutie ?" 

....Um... YEAH RIGHT !

Here's some funny Tinder message attempts I found online: 

How these guys think they can get girls with these awful pick up lines -- I have no idea?! 

But, no fear for the single ladies who really were hoping Tinder would work. 

I happened to get a match with a totally sexy buff 26-year-old who recently graduated from law school. His pictures were perfect -- clean cut (one even had him in a business suit) and none included him with his arms around other girls. We shared intrest of reading, and the TV show 24, and yes he messaged me with a normal "Hey! How are you doing this morning?" 

Sigh...

Alas, I am trying to remain a good girl -- scared that my man would question why I had an account or frightened that one of his friends would come across my profile. So I put my Tinder days to a close.  

Regardless though, I recommend to at least give Tinder a try (single or not) to play for bored laughable fun or in hopes of finally finding love.

THE DJANGO UNCHAINED PHENOMENON

I know this is completley out of character for my blog, but I wanted to write a post on the movie Django Unchained. With so much excitment amongst the blogging community talking about the critism and approptitness of the film, and being that I am currently studying African American literature, I thought only befitting to write my own opinion.

Django Unchained was my first Quentin Tarantino film. I know! Shocking, right? Not familiar with this award winning directors sense of dark humor and love of gore and blood, I had absolutely no idea what to expect. I think anyone who saw the film in theaters can testify to the fact that from the opening to the closing credits there was a sea of tension that filled the room.

 Even though there was no division of white and black physically in the large AMC theatre, I felt as if all of a sudden, I was very aware of my own race, and for that matter, everyone else’s around me. While tiny chuckles of stiff laughter filled the cinema during certain scenes, I sat squirming in my chair, trying to disappear from the uncomfortable awkwardness that seemed to devour me. Oprah refers to this feeling as the “Django Moment”- when African American viewers feel strange that Caucasian audience members are laughing at the horrible situations depicted in the movie- and although I am a white girl from Clearwater Florida, the Django Moment, seemed to have taken ahold of me! Even the scenes that were supposed to purposefully be comical, like when the ku klux klan members couldn’t see out of their eye holes, didn’t seem all that funny to me.

 I still had the image of the slave rider whipping a black man from the previous scene. The pain in his eyes and the blood down his back seemed ever too real and not too far back in time. As my boyfriend laughed at the hilarious truth of the scene, I shot him looks of annoyance and confusion. I couldn’t understand how he could sit there and not be as sucked into the world of the movie as I was.

All historically accurate and painfully brutal scenes put aside, the part of the movie that struck me the most, was when Calvin Candie, an incredibly wealthy plantation owner portrayed by Leonardo DiCaprio, asked a question so hauntingly obvious, one has to wonder, why it hasn’t been pondered at more. He questions why, with such an enormous and continually growing population, haven’t the black slaves over thrown their southern white owners? What exactly is stopping them? Here lies the curious wonder of the world when it comes to any overthrowing of one groups race, ethnicity, religion, social status, or gender. We see throughout history congregations of people of the same kind wiped out through genocide or slavery and wonder, why didn’t these people fight back? What did they have to lose if their lives were already in danger? With over three fifths of the population being slaves in 1858 alone, DiCaprio’s character poses an engrossing question.

There could be many reasons as to why the slaves didn’t gang together and go above their hardships. One reason could be that they didn’t have the access to resources that whites did- such as guns, dogs, and other auxiliary items to cause harm. Say that they did take over, though? Then what would they do? Having no money of their own and being completely dependent on their masters, the thought of overriding their superiors was probably not only terrifying but unthinkable. The white masters, realizing the population difference, put their slaves through a mental state of mind, making them think they were meant to be slaves. By breaking apart their families, choosing who they’d marry, refusing literacy, preaching that they should obey their masters through religion, and giving them little opportunity to have thoughts and opinions of their own, masters slowly broke down their slave psychologically without the slaves even realizing it. Another concern is the few black slaves that shared a strange kinship with their masters. Samuel L. Jackson’s character, Stephen, is a good example of this.

Even though Stephen is as black as they come, he places himself above his fellow brethren, and looks down on them, as if he was a slave master himself! He hangs on his master Candie’s every word, dresses in nice clothes, and attends visitor’s dinners. Not only involved in the white conversations on the plantation, he also is naturally involved in what the slaves talk about behind closed doors. In the heart wrenching moment where Stephen starts to catch on to Django and Dr. Schultz’s plan to take advantage of Calvin Candie in order to join Django with his wife again, Stephen reports what he sees to Candie, preventing Django from succeeding. As I sat and watched the scene take place before my eyes, I wanted to scream at Stephen, “WHY? Why are you being so evil?” Why did these characters who we read about in stories such as Harriet Jacobs, Incident of a Slave Girl, and Williams Wells Browns, Clotel, go against their own kind in gaining liberty and having the right to their own freedom? Why side with their masters? Maybe it is just for the fact that they look up to them. With their masters powers, money, social status, and overall their heir of being untouchable these loyal slaves respect them. Like we in modern day might idolize a super star or famous athlete, they looked at their white superior’s and wished more than anything to live the life that they did.

By the end of the movie, I was on the edge of my seat with anticipation of when the movie would be over. If I saw one more twenty minute scene of blood squirting out of a body, I would have had to run to the bathroom and vomit! I kept expecting a riot of African Americans to storm the theatre and gun down all white people in retaliation, but maybe that’s me letting my mind get carried away or being too aware of the insane people that seem to be appearing on the news on a regular basis. Although Django might not have been my favorite movie, it was a movie that made me think about the past and the present, and how history has affected the world we live in today. With a strong plot and a powerful ending, this movie opened my eyes to how far we have come as a nation, and how some things in history should be studied but never repeated.